I Don't Think Of You At All
by Bbtashae
Summary: BruceXNatasha Fanfic. This story is based on the song 'Lately by The Helio Sequence'. Fits well with the situation of Brutashas relationship is in right now. Set throughout CA:CW, Bruce is back hiding out in India and Natasha's continuing her life as an Avenger. They both have certain flashbacks that might eventually bring them back together...
1. Regret and False Hope

**I don't think of you at all…**

Chapter 1. Regret and False Hope

 ** _Lately, I don't think of you at all_**

 ** _Or wonder what you're up to, or how you're getting on_**

Bruce

The heat blazed down on to the grey tarmac filled with congested traffic. Bruce Banner wiped the trickling sweat with his backhand. The area upon his forehead was dry and sticky, until moments later moisture appeared there once again. The air was clogged up with smog and clouds of engine smoke, and traditional Indian music bellowing out of the taxi radios. Bruce could still catch the noise of horns bleeping and rundown engines chug in his surroundings.

The male flopped his arm out of the open window of the vehicle, feeling the fresh wind and glowing sunlight against his skin as the taxi slowly conveyed. Bruce's eyes hung with exhaustion, as the past few nights of India's summer heat wave kicked in. Causing Bruce too become quite restless.

His vision was focused on the scenery he was gradually passing. The dismantled shacks and polluted atmosphere reminded him so much of the time he first met Natasha. All them years ago back in Kolkata, when they were both so oblivious to their feelings towards each other…

 **-Flashback-**

 **Bruce was stood facing Natasha in an old run down shack on the edge of the city. With only a table to separate them. The Assassin was casually sat on a rusty wooden chair looking up at him for a response.**

 **"** **So Fury's not after the monster?" Bruce asked curiously.**

 **Natasha replied honestly. "Not that he's told me."**

 **"** **And he tells you everything?"**

 **Natasha began to get reluctant, "Talk to Fury, he needs you on this-"**

 **"** **He needs me in a cage?" Bruce's voice rose slightly.**

 **"** **No one's gunna put you in a cage-" Natasha responded.**

 **Bruce suddenly slammed his hands down on the woodened table to close the distance between them. "STOP LYING TO ME!" he bellowed out.**

 **Natasha instantly reached for her gun from under the table and pointed the weapon directly to his face. With a startled look across her complexation, Bruce knew that when he first saw her a few minutes before that she wasn't a woman to mess with. Her stance was well structured and a resting firm face was everything to give Bruce all he needed to know about her.**

 **Natasha was not one to be played, but before she was assigned to this mission she knew it was a risky one.**

 **"** **I'm sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you would do. Why don't we do this the easy way where you don't use that, and the other guy doesn't make a mess. Okay? Natasha?"**

 **Black widow thought for a moment. Is it safe? Can she trust him? But eventually she went with her gut feeling and lowered her gun.**

 **"** **Stand down… Were good here." Natasha sounded through her earpiece before reconnecting her eyes with his.**

 **Bruce was relieved that he wasn't a target anymore, and more relieved that she put some trust in him as they had only just met each other. But if Bruce knew then what was going to happen between them two, he probably wouldn't have started it in the first place for Natasha's sake as well as his.**

 **In the end of it all Natasha still thought that she was sent there to recruit him for a reason, but deep down she knew that nothing lasts forever and either way it wasn't going to last.**

 **-End of flashback-**

Bruce deeply regrets the way he left things, He didn't even say goodbye to the poor woman and just left her there to deal with everything whist he ran away. However, he knew that he couldn't stay and that would be the best for both of them in the long term. He pictured that Natasha had moved swiftly on and tried her hardest to forget about him, even though it took her by surprise by falling for him. Hoping that she would keep herself safe on missions and enjoying the attention of all the other guys on the team, he'd never want her to go unnoticed.

A loud beeping noise, distracted Bruce from he's thoughts and turned his attention on the road works four cars ahead of him in the cue of traffic. The taxi driver continued to beep his horn in frustration.

"Tum ghabarao nahin. Main yahaan se chal sakata hai." _(Don't worry. I can walk from here.)._ Bruce fluently spoken Hindi to the driver before handing him rupees.

The doctor grabbed his leather wore out satchel and set off down a narrow side street. He was journeying towards a homeless shelter for the unfortunate families in the area that had lost their homes to a recent earthquake a couple of days ago. Wondering if they needed some help and assistance.

Natasha

Meanwhile, back at the new Avengers facility in Upstate New York. Natasha was hammering the life out of an innocent punch bag in the Gym. She found that harsh training and physical abuse to herself would help her forget everything around her and all the problems in her life.

She had just got back from a mission in Nigeria, trying to stop Brock Rumlow from stealing a biological weapon from a lab in Lagos. The mission was successful, but there was still complications and major causalities throughout the time they spent them. That is why there was a meeting scheduled at 11 for when Tony and General Ross arrived to discuss the new supervision for the team. Natasha wanted to get some training in before this heated discussion on the future of their lives and let off a bit of steam.

Once the red head was finished with her work out, she sat herself down and leant her back against a wall. She wiped her head with a towel and downed the last mouthful of her water.

Natasha sat there admiring the silence, she hated to do this to herself but it was the only coping mechanism she could handle without having thoughts of him.

She felt weak at even the thought of him in her mind, how could he say them things to her and feel those feelings but not act on them.

This gym looked a lot like the one back in the Avengers Tower, which didn't help her mind cast back to a certain memory…

 **-Flashback-**

 **All the Avengers where living in the Tower and getting along as one big family. Over the past few weeks the group has all had their fair share of taking the blame of failing their pass missions to try and receive the spectre. Frustration and guilt was hung over them like a black cloud.**

 **Natasha finally give up the idea of sleep, after an hour of trying and travelled down to the gym to carry out her daily workout session to waken her up. It was 5am and she had a good feeling that not a soul was awake in the tower and that this could be a good time to relieve her stress and sleep deprivation.**

 **But when she arrived upon the gym area, the redhead wasn't aware that is was already occupied.**

 **"** **Oh Hello." Bruce greeted Natasha.**

 **Natasha stop in her tracks before responding, "Hi". She was secretly hoping that she could have time to herself before a 'boring day at the office'.**

 **Bruce began to stammer around at her presence, "I didn't realize that you'd be up so early, I could go if you like…"**

 **"** **No, please stay… I could use the company. I couldn't sleep that's all" Natasha knew it was safe to slightly let her guard down around Bruce, they have grown at closer over the time period of living together.**

 **Natasha sat down on the bench and reached for her right shoulder, rotating her arm in pain. "Are you okay?", Bruce asked noticing the expression on his teammates face.**

 **"** **Yeah I just pulled a muscle the other day on a mission and not being able to sleep hasn't helped in the slightest" Natasha explained.**

 **Before she knew it Bruce had walked across the room and sat down next to her on the bench, massaging her shoulders.**

 **"** **Your very tense, I hope this will help you relax" Bruce gently rubbed Natasha's shoulders relieving her stress.**

 **Natasha didn't hesitate and let him continue. 'It was actually quite nice and relaxing, if only he could do this before I go to bed every night to help me sleep better-' Natasha's thoughts suddenly stopped. Why was she thinking about Bruce massaging her before bed, obviously this wasn't right and the lack of sleep was messing with her mind. So before things got any further she jumped back into her own personal space and walked away from him, over to the punch bags.**

 **"** **Did it help?" Bruce asked hopefully.**

 **"** **Yes. Thank you." Natasha replied coldly, with a forced smile.**

 **Bruce had noticed for a while now that she had been treating him differently but just couldn't put a finger on it. He was still eager to spend more time with her whilst they were alone for once.**

 **Natasha began to throw some harsh punches upon the punch bag opposite her, Bruce just watched her body move around the bag with delicacy and passion. Bruce watched her until she was finished and made her way over to the shooting room.**

 **Out of the blue Bruce asked something Natasha would never thought she would hear from his lips.**

 **"** **Can you teach me how to shoot?!" He bellowed out.**

 **Natashas mood just got more positive, she was about to learn the hulk how to use a gun.**

 **"** **Yeah sure. Grab a gun and we will get started." Natasha seemed confident within her shooting surroundings and glad that she can teach Bruce a thing or two.**

 **The couple entered the shooting room and Bruce stepped back whilst he watched Natasha demonstrate the basics of how to hold a gun and shoot it.**

 **Bruce was so impressed at how Natasha was so skilful and talented at this sort of stuff, and he didn't have a clue. Then again this is how scrambled her brain must be when he talks to her about science.**

 **Once she let Bruce hold the gun and shoot for himself, he looked like a lost puppy trying so hard to find his way back home.**

 **Natasha deep down enjoyed spending time with the doctor and teaching him things she was knowledgeable about. But she couldn't stand to watch anymore of his inaccurate gun holding for much longer.**

 **The Assassin slowly come up behind Bruce and reached for his hands, she positioned them carefully on the gun without making the situation awkward. Their bodies were so close now that Natasha's body was literally wrapped around Bruce's from the back.**

 **Once Natasha finished up making Bruce's stance look better, he couldn't bring herself to move away from him and Bruce didn't make a scene about it either. Their faces was right next to each other, they slowly turned to face each other but what they didn't know was that how close they was. The was a few inches between their lips and neither of them was going to waste any more time. They grow closer and closer with either passing second until Bruce moved away reluctantly and exited the shooting room without another word. Leaving Natasha their wondering what she had done wrong.**

 **-End of Flashback-**

Natasha shook the memory out of her head. It hurt too much to think about the two of them together even when their relationship was barely blossoming at the time. If only she knew then what she knows now, would she even think twice about it?

She swabbed the remaining sweat from her forehead and threw the dirty towel on the floor before stand up and walking out of the gym to get ready for the meeting. She needed to get back into the real world, not dwell on something that's never going to change.


	2. Hidden Digits

**Chapter 2**

 **Hidden Digits**

 ** _I never think of calling you_**

 ** _Or how things could have been_**

Natasha

Later that day, Natasha and Tony separated from the group once Cap left the room after he's text about Peggy's death looked urgent. The duo walked to Tony's private quarters he had made once he donated a large sum of money to help build this place a year ago.

Tony got a call once they entered his office and left Natasha alone to wonder, maybe snoop around a bit to see if she could find anything out that would be useful.

Maybe look through Tony's files whilst he's not around or prank call one of his friends just for the fun of it.

The redhead wasn't deliberately trying to spy on the billionaire, but something that sparked her attention appeared at the corner of his desk. It was an aluminous green sticky note with the one and only Bruce Banners number written down in neat black ink. She couldn't believe it. Tony had been in contact with Bruce for a year but didn't think it was best to tell her. The reason he left in the first place.

They have probably been talking through emails as well, in whatever third world country he's hiding out in at the moment, he always finds a way to get in contact.

 **-Thoughts-**

 **Why should I make the effort to call him first or try to get a hold of him to see if he's ok, because he certainly didn't care about me when he jetted off to god knows where leaving me to defend for myself… even though I can defend for myself. I don't need a guy like him to lean on, I am my own woman. A strong, independent woman in fact that can get through this without anyone's help. God he can make my blood boil when he isn't even in the same room, or the same country for that matter.**

 **But deep down, I hope he's ok… I wouldn't want him to be hurt or lying in a ditch somewhere all alone. I'm obviously thinking like this for a reason. I know that he hurt me but he made me feel something that no other human being as ever made me feel… Love. Compassion. Hope.**

 **Where ever he is, I just hope that's he's happy and living his life the way he wanted it to turn out like. And hopes that if it was truly my fault for him running away then I'm sorry if it made him feel that way about me. I can only be sorry so many times, that I'm sick of hearing it myself.**

Natasha dropped the coloured paper on to the desk in front of her and left it there as she walked out of the office. She told Tony that she needed to be somewhere else, but right now the only place she wanted to be was alone.

It wasn't Tony's fault, so she didn't have the right to blame him. If Bruce swore him to secrecy, then what kind of friend would Tony be if he betrayed his trust. Tony was a lot of things, but you could always count on him to be the most loyal one out of the group.

Bruce had always been one for secrets, he was never has open as everyone else and always kept himself to himself. Causing no one problems and acting like he was a fly on the wall every time he entered a room, as no one ever noticed that he was there.

Natasha sat in her room thinking about how he must be getting on, it must be okay and she wasn't worried at all with his financial situation if he was in contact with Tony. Knowing Tony as well as she does, she knew that Tony would offer Bruce money if he was struggling or not.

Bruce

Back in India, the sun was gradually setting beyond the mountains creating a floral coloured sunset. Bruce packed up his medical kit and placed it carefully back in the leather satchel that he owned. Throughout the day he helped over five families, giving them several shots and analysing their fluid intake. He did the best he could in situations like these, in his opinion this was the best way he thought of helping people in the world, not smashing things up and expecting everything to be alright.

He wanted his own proof that he had don't some good in the world, he wanted to be his own superhero in his own way. Not what science has made him out to be. The proof he ever had of that was the aftermath of lying in his own sweat and a terrible headache after transforming back into his self.

Bruce walked home from the homeless shelter enjoying the cool summer breeze on his skin as he wondered the shabby streets of Mumbai. It was around six o'clock because whilst the doctor passed a bar, with its windows and doors wide open upon the streets to try and lure customers in. He heard the news bellow out its top story of the day on a small TV hanging up in the corner of the room.

Usually he didn't care at all what was happening in the world around him but something caused the man to stop in his tracks and focus on the screen.

The news reporter was reporting a story upon the bombing that happened in Vienna, killing King T'Chaka, and also stating that Black widow was at the conference where the accords was being ratified.

Bruce's heart stopped beating for a moment, hearing her name and her name only caused him to worry, worry about her well-being when he had no right too. He lost that right when he ran away like a coward and never looked back. If anything serious had happened to her, he would feel so guilty for leaving her and not staying to protect her himself.

The doctor crossed the road in a hurry and entered a rusty old phone box, he knew her mobile number off by heart but couldn't bring himself to type in the digits. He just stared at the numbers on the dialling pad with the phone pressed to his ear.

 **-Thoughts-**

 **I really hope Natasha's ok. I mean she's got many people to take care of her if she's not, but I know her stubborn ways. She will tell you everything's fine until she's literally hanging by a thread and even then she will tell you that she's good. I remember the times that she used to lie to the group all the time after missions about her injuries being mild and small, but I could see right through her sardonic personality. It wasn't because I noticed every little single thing that she done, it was the thought of her in pain and suffering in silence. With past experience of knowing how that feels, I can tell you it's pretty shitty.**

 **I never wanted her to feel like that.**

 **But now that I'm out of the picture, she probably wants male attention now more than ever to fill that empty space inside her that I left. I left by mistake and if I had the chance it will never happened again and that's what I'd tell her if I saw her right now, or 10 years from now. Because my mind I'll never change about her, I'll always feel the way I feel…**

He often thought about how different her life would have been like if they hadn't met. And how much attention Natasha would get from the guys if she wasn't so fixed on Bruce all the time that they lived together.

She could've had such a better life if she had just fallen for someone else, but why would Bruce want her falling for someone else when he had fallen for her too.

He hooked the phone back on the machine and stood their tears forming in his eyes, gripping onto the hooked phone for balance.

Bruce hurt too much, he knows deep down that it was his fault for leaving the both of them broken hearted, then living together and being treated like a time bomb next to the women he loves.

He eventually pulled himself together and journeyed the rest of the way home in deep thought of how she's getting on.

A/N's: If your smart enough, you will be able to work out what storylines and information the next chapters will contain due to the Lyrics of the song. ;) Romanoff Out.


	3. Sleepless Nights

**Chapter 3**

 **Sleepless Nights**

 ** _Or wonder where you sleep at night_**

 ** _Or whose arms you wake in_**

Bruce

The doctor made it home safely, the place that he called home was a small flat above a run-down restaurant and his living area was enough for him to settle down for a while.

Being out there for so long, all's he could do was think about how things that could have been and re-think scenes over and over in his head about his inner demon and Natasha.

It took a while but Bruce finally settled down after the events of today. He hoped it was just like any other day where he would go out early in the morning, work all day and come home exhausted. But these distractions and unusual thoughts had put him off course.

With the intense sweating and sticky sheets entangled around his body from the heat wave, Bruce found it once again difficult trying to drift off to sleep. He tossed and turned forcing the images of a certain redhead out of his mind. It was driving him mad! Was it because he felt that guilty for running away to protect himself or the fact that he was so completely head over heels for this woman.

He always pictured her surrounded by all the males on the team, she was breathtakingly talented and beautiful. What else could you want from her. He couldn't help but think this way about her when she was practically known for flirting with every male she saw.

 **-Flashback-**

 **Bruce was quietly reading over Tony's physics notes in the living room of the Avengers Tower about the project they were currently working on in the lab. The Tower was very quiet for 9 at night but he just figured that everyone was out doing their own thing, instead of as a group. Bruce liked having his own space within the tower, he could get on with his work without any interruptions.**

 **A loud laughter came from the hall way, Natasha and Clint came in the room joking and laughing disturbing the peace and Bruce's concentration.**

 **"** **Hi Bruce!", Natasha greeted him warmly.**

 **Bruce smiled back at the woman gladly.**

 **"** **Hey man, what are you working on?" Clint asked.**

 **Bruce was surprised he asked and kept his answer short. "Just some of Tony's notes for a project we're working on."**

 **He could tell that the agents didn't really care as they began to fight over the remote. Ignoring everything the doctor was saying. At least Natasha was less ignorant than her best friend. The couple started to play fight on the couch and Natasha pressed Clint's head down on the cushions with his hands behind his back.**

 **"** **I'm guessing it's like a big nerdy science thing?", Natasha said casually to Bruce, with Clint struggling to break free from underneath her.**

 **Bruce laughed at her statement and agreed. "Yes, it's a big nerdy science thing".**

 **He always admired Natasha for her curiosity and wisdom. On past occasions he'd find Natasha wondering around the lab, noising on what Bruce was up to and sometimes helping him out with measurements of liquids and other things.**

 **Bruce started to pack up his things, "I'll just leave you two too it.".**

 **"** **Please don't leave because we're here.", Natasha mentioned before he left.**

 **Clint eventually was free from Natasha grasp, "Yeah, this will be over in just a sec."**

 **With that comment Clint flipped Natasha over and he was the one now towering over her whilst she squirmed underneath him.**

 **Bruce smiled at the two friends and exited the room in silence. He knew where he wasn't wanted, he kind of got that feeling his whole life.**

 **Seeing Natasha and Clint 'flirt' made himself feel a twang of jealously inside him, but he just couldn't quite put a finger on it. Maybe he always hoped that deep down they could be that close in the future.**

 **Bruce knew he always read into things way to quickly and deeply, which usually made things worse for him in the long run. With every word and gesture Natasha made around him he'd always analyse it in his head later on that day, thinking over and over of how differently he could have acted or how to make things better.**

 **-End of Flashback-**

Bruce lay in bed, with his eyes open listening to the silence around him. His eyes shut tightly causing tears to roll down his cheeks. A couple of sobs sounded out within the darkness around him. This demon inside was uncontrollable and he just wanted to kept her safe and happy, but either way he knew he couldn't do that.

He knew about her past and what she had been through in life, but that didn't stop him from loving her. She deserved to be happy, but not with him.

Natasha

Natasha as well found it harder than usual to fall asleep that night. She had difficulty anyways trying to settle and calm her adrenaline down after a long day on a mission. The only thing that was on her mind was Bruce. He has started to appear in her thoughts more frequently and randomly at this moment in time and she didn't like it. She often wondered if he had actually moved on and found someone else who wasn't such of a monster like herself. Someone like his former lover…

 **-Flashback-**

 **Natasha was working on something important on her laptop but before she finished her work, one of the letter keys on her keyboard got stuck, And the email she was currently writing was signed by 'Natashaaaaaaaaaaaa…'**

 **Everyone was out for the day except from Bruce, and he was either in the lab or coped up in his room. She stopped by the lab first as that would be the most likely place he'd be; however, the agent was wrong. He was in fact in his room.**

 **Natasha went to pay a visit to her teammate. She carried her open laptop into his room, still focusing on the screen.**

 **"** **Hey Bruce. Can you help me with this?", Natasha was oblivious to her surroundings as she walked around the doctors private room.**

 **She set the laptop down on his desk and sat in his chair. A few minutes had passed and Nat noticed that he hadn't yet replied.**

 **"** **Bruce?" Natasha's attention was now on Bruce's empty room. Wondering where the hell he is.**

 **The redhead took this as an opportunity to find out a little bit more information about the doctor, than what she's just read on his files now and again. She would freely go and root through the others stuff without a care in the world but it was different with Bruce.**

 **It was safe to say that they have grown as friends and she had a lot more respect towards him than anyone else in the tower.**

 **All's she did was wonder around the room, keeping her hands to herself. She was hit with instant jealously once she stumbled upon a picture frame with two figures shown behind the glass. Natasha picked the object up to get a better view of the image.**

 **It was Bruce and Betty holding each other laughing about something. He looked so happy, so instant and free. Maybe he only kept the picture has a reminder that in his life, he was actually free and happy once upon a time.**

 **Why was Natasha feeling so much hate for this dark haired woman that she had never met before? She couldn't have feelings for Bruce, there was no chance in hell that would happen.**

 **Her focus was interrupted as the frame was removed from her hands and placed in a draw. Bruce appeared out of nowhere, making her feel slightly guilty for snooping.**

 **"** **I'm sorry, I didn't mean too- ", But before Natasha could explain herself the doctor cut her off.**

 **"** **It's fine", he spoke quietly. "What's up?"**

 **Bruce instantly brushed the awkward situation under the carpet and moved on to the main reason she was present in his room.**

 **"** **The 'A' key got stuck when I was writing an Email and now it's just saying 'aaaaaa..'", Natasha joked.**

 **Bruce wasn't convinced, that she had done nothing to the computer to make it like this, "What did you spill on it?"**

 **"** **Nothing.", Natasha tried to seem shocked that he could ever accuse her of such things, but it didn't work on him.**

 **Bruce gave her an unconvinced look until she told him the truth.**

 **Natasha eventually caved in, "Diet coke and maybe a little bit of nail polish"**

 **"** **I'll take a look at it." Bruce laughed to himself at how irresponsible this woman could be with valuable technology some times.**

 **Natasha could always rely on Bruce to be there for her and help her out with things she struggled with, even quite often she was very reluctant and stubborn to admit them.**

 **-End of Flashback-**

Natasha always knew somewhere in her heart that she was never good enough for Bruce and that she would always be playing second best to him, even if they were serious about each other.

The broken woman just lay there staring into the darkness. Without any whimpers or sobs, a single tear rolled down her cheek in silence.

She was often the type of person to suffer in silence and not to make a scene. Natasha hated showing her true emotions around people, she thought it made her feel weak and vulnerable. But Bruce just thought that it made her look more human and that she isn't just this killing machine that she was trained to be.


	4. Staring into Space

**Chapter 4**

 **Staring into Space**

 ** _I'm living alone, living alone_**

 ** _I don't need you anymore_**

 ** _I don't get lost in 'daydreams'_**

Bruce

Bruce tried his best to carry on his life as normal hiding out in India, even if there were distractions along the way.

The heat was literally unbearable at midday, but that's when Bruce was busiest. He had lists and lists of people and families to still have an anti-disease injection, whilst analysing results from his past patients what came back from a nearby lab this morning.

The scientist finally took a break from everything and ate his lunch on a bench in a park, watching the local children play. He enjoyed taking breathers like this, by sitting outside in the sun and watching the world go by. This was very therapeutic for him, in other words a way for him to relax and feel good about himself for once.

He watched from a far, three children playing on a rusty worn out roundabout. Two boys aged 11 and a girl who was a lot smaller and younger, aged 8.

The boys were tormenting the girl by not letting her play with them and refusing to let her on the roundabout. The girl was gradually getting upset and was about to cry. The boys started to push her, making the situation worse.

Bruce watched the scene from a distance, he felt for the girl he really did. The view looked too surreal for him, when he was younger. A pushover. A loner. An outcast.

Despite the fact that the girl seemed a lot weaker than the males, what they didn't expect was that the girl grabbed one of the boys arm and restrained him to the ground instantly in the heat of the moment.

The other boy who witnessed this ran away, leaving the girl winning the fight single handed.

Once the girl had enough, she let the boy beneath her scurry away in tears and letting him learn his lesson that boys aren't always the ones in the right.

Bruce's mind instantly thought about Natasha and how that little girl reminded him so much of her. The way the girl played rough and had guts to see it through. Her tomboyish ways when her pants hit the soil and didn't care how she looked.

 **-Thoughts-**

 **Natasha doesn't need a man to tell her what to do. She definitely wasn't a damsel in distress. It was more likely to be the other way around with them.**

 **He knew she hated to look helpless, not so much on missions but in everyday life, when they lived in the Avengers tower. He was a witness of her vulnerabilities a couple of times through fate and destiny. Although so was she with him, but that was most likely to happen, due to his inner demon. She was not like most women, she could kill a thousand men in a heartbeat and live to tell the tale.**

 **What shocked Bruce the most was that, out of everything she has been through and seen. He was the only one to hurt her. Not the Hulk, But Bruce Banner himself.**

 **He hated himself for being such a mess, then again he hated that he hurt her more.**

 **He betrayed her trust, when she needed him the most and how could he ever make up for that. Natasha struggled to trust anyone and everyone, and then here he comes spending his life in denial until it was the right time to win her heart and snatch it away.**

 **He was such a fool.**

 **-End of Thoughts-**

Bruce packed up his half eaten lunch off the bench beside him. He travelled back to the homeless shelter in time, picking up where he left things before. With a clear head he got to work swiftly and smoothly without thinking about her and worrying about daydreams creeping up on him. In the best possible way, he tried to move on the best he could.

Natasha

A certain redhead assassin was off duty and having lunch like everyone else in the Avengers facility. Natasha sat in the buildings cafeteria, searching through files on her laptop. She was waiting for Steve and Sam to be brought into the facility after they found Bucky in Bucharest. She didn't like we're all this with Steve and Tony was going and was kind of in the middle of everything. Natasha needed to take a break, clear her head and think of something else. Looking at old pictures seemed to calm her down and make her more at ease in her hostile surroundings.

The female opened the file called 'Avengers Tower 2013-2015'. She flicked through a large number of images containing her and her 5 teammates. But the pictures she was most wanting to view was the ones of her and Bruce. Silly images taken at random times through the 2 years they lived together. Such as the pair working in the lab, where Natasha is seen wearing Bruce's lab coat and glass mocking him in a picture whilst Bruce is in the background unimpressed. Another one is we're they are walking together admiring the scenery in Central Park. And others are just casual ones around the tower playing pranks on each other. There was a video file in the folder, she had never seen before. She opened the file with her heart pounding in confusion of what it could be.

The file started to play. It was camera security footage of Natasha and Hulk in the Hulk cage, the avengers had built on the bottom floor of the Tower. All the other avengers, Steve, Tony, Thor and Clint, where watching eagerly behind a mirrored window.

Natasha knew instantly what it was. She paused the video and headed straight to an empty room in the building. As soon as she knew she was alone. Natasha hit play.

The spy watched the footage of herself 2 years ago gradually taming the beast for the first time. She could remember everything she felt about that moment, like it was yesterday.

The clip ended and Natasha was left wondering how this video even got on her laptop. She figured that it must have been Jarvis from way back then.

 **-Thoughts-**

 **She was the only one to tame the hulk, so why did she have to take advantage of this in Slovakia. She knew it was wrong but it was a spare of the moment thing and they were needed in the fight against Ultron. But he was the one who made the decision to run without her, when they cautiously planned it out together.**

 **She had moved on, although she thought she had. Natasha was good at helping people as well as Banner, keeping them safe when they needed it the most. They were both finally at a point in their lives where they had no distractions, that could get messed up in their work. They could live in peace, as that's what they thought.**

Natasha's thoughts were interrupted by Tony barging into the room in a hurry. She shut her laptop before he could take a look. He informed her that Captain America and the others were on their way in and that she was needed. Her thoughts and feelings can wait...


	5. Not So Fearless

**Chapter 5**

 **Not So Fearless**

 **Author's Notes:** Okay so I'm glad that all my reviews up to now are positive. Negative reviews make me feel bad about myself L. I just don't want to disappoint you guys! You've been so great up to now. What are your thoughts for the next chapters to come? What would you like to happen? Please tell me and maybe I will able to fit it in somewhere…

 ** _I never lay awake at night_**

 ** _Staring in my bed_**

 ** _And I don't think about your face_**

 ** _Or anything you've said_**

Bruce

The Physicist was once again alone with his thoughts, he sat in his one room apartment that consists of a sofa bed, a small table, one chair, a tiny kitchen area and a curtain that separated the bathroom from everything else.

Bruce was slummed over his computer, with a few medical files scattered on the table in front of him. He was always prone to doing his best work at 2 in the morning, but this time it was due to not being able to sleep.

Sleep deprivation was a huge problem to him at the moment, that didn't stop him from living his life as normal.

The conditions to him was a luxury. He had seen people with no homes at all, so he was just lucky to have a roof over his head. Bruce rose from the table and arced his back in pain, he had been working for over 5 hours without a break. He wondered over to the kitchen area, filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove to boil.

The male stood leaning against the kitchen work top, thinking about a very familiar memory that made him happy.

 **-Flashback-**

 **Bruce stirred the two hot drinks, before handing it to his fellow teammate sitting patiently in the Livingroom. Natasha gratefully took the drink in her hands and sipped it carelessly. Bruce eventually joined her sitting on the opposite end of the couch, he continued to look over a stack full of paper work he had been getting through for hours. The doctor hadn't slept proper in days, maybe a half an hour doze on his lab desk here and there, but that's about it.**

 **He was obsessed with working and couldn't get it out of his mind. When he thought a problem was sorted, another opened up. Tony was away with Pepper for the weekend. Clint was visiting his family, with whom only Natasha knew about. Thor was spending the week at Janes, and Steve went to visit Sam Wilson. So it was a good time for Bruce to do his work in peace.**

 **Natasha couldn't sleep because of her nightmares and Bruce was the only one who knew about this, because 20 minutes earlier he was interrupted by a women screaming in her private room.**

 **Bruce burst into the room and tried his best to calm Natasha down from her nightmare. He knew that she had saw some horrors in her past and childhood but nothing compared to the fear and distress on her awakened expression.**

 **The doctor convinced her that everything was going to be alright, taking all his power to teach her some anti-panicking techniques and sooth her breathing too normal again.**

 **Now they were sat in silence in the Livingroom area, watching the fire crackle at 3 in the morning.**

 **"** **How are you feeling?" Bruce asked as he looked her over his glasses.**

 **Natasha had her legs tightly up to her body, caressing the hot drink, with a transfixed look on her face. "Fine."**

 **Bruce didn't want to push her into anything she wasn't ready for, but he just didn't like the way she looked when he found her.**

 **"** **Look, I know that you don't want to talk about it. But I am here if you want too, I'm always here for you Natasha… never forget that", Bruce was genuinely concerned about this woman and wanted to help her in any way he could.**

 **He knew that she was listening to him, even though her eyes never left the burning fire from across the room. Bruce waited patiently for 10 minutes until she finally talked.**

 **"** **I was a teenager. In the Red Room. I was made to be a killing machine. I was able to kill everything given to me. But this time was different. When I couldn't preform the set tasks. They beat me up and locked me in an empty room. I was starving and scared. But there was nothing I could do" Natasha told the story of her nightmare until the last part, where she started to choke on her own sobs and tears.**

 **Once this began Bruce hurried next to her and held her balled body into his chest for comfort. He had never seen Natasha like this before.**

 **Bruce gently rocked her until she calmed down, surprisingly after 5 minutes of rocking the female. The doctor noticed that Natasha had fallen asleep in his arms. He enjoyed the comfort he gave to Natasha and by helping her through this.**

 **He too eventually drifted off to sleep and they both woke at 1 in the afternoon the next morning.**

 **-End of Flashback-**

The whistle from the kettle disrupted Bruce's train of thoughts. He took care of it instantly and made himself a cup of Indian tea. That was the best thing about traveling or being on the run, was that he could always enjoy different food cultures. Bruce shut down his laptop for the night and settled down in bed. From where he sat, he could see the starry night from the window and looked out watching the silence of the night go by upon him.

Whilst he sat there, drinking his tea and observing the world. He thought about her face and every little thing she said to him in the past.

Natasha

It was around 2 in the morning and Natasha was hunch up in a ball tightly under her covers. Praying for the loud crashing noises to stop and give her mind some peace. Outside thunder and lightning had been striking for the 2 hours. Obliviously Natasha wasn't a fan, she never had been from such a young age. Back when it used to happen in the Avengers tower she always had Clint to comfort her and maybe that one off time Bruce.

 **-Flashback-**

 **Natasha cried into her pillow she clenched under her head, her body was also tucked into a ball over her bed sheets. The sound of Thunder caused her discomfort. This was the first time she had been left alone whilst its Thundering and Lighting. Clint was always there as the best friend he is and helped her through her fear but he was away on a mission and was delayed for a couple of days.**

 **Bruce was up late working in the lab; he was walking to the kitchen for a midnight snack for something else caught his attention.**

 **As he passed Natasha's door, he was curious to find it wide open as well as hearing frightened cries within the room.**

 **Bruce's heart pounded as he stepped into the room to investigate. Several things swirled around in his head wondering if she was okay. Was she hurt? What was up with her? Was she having a nightmare again?**

 **"** **Natasha?" Bruce slowly walked around her bed to get a closer look at the huddled up female. He's heart dropped at the sight of a whimpering Natasha shaking uncontrollably in his presence.**

 **The doctor kneeled down on the floor beside the bed, so that he could talk to her more carefully without startling her. Bruce raised a hand to move a piece of red hair from out her face. She opened her eyes instantly, Bruce noticed her eyes were all bloodshot red and the black circles underneath didn't need to tell him anything else. He already knew. He saw fear within himself so often that it was like looking in the mirror.**

 **His hand froze over her cheek, before he knew it Natasha had thrown herself on to him in a bear hug. Grabbing him around the neck for comfort.**

 **Bruce did his best to support her up right as she was like a scared child that wouldn't let go.**

 **Within the next 30 minutes Bruce had made progress in comforting her. The couple was both lay down on the bed facing each other in silence, asking each other questions now and then. An hour had passed and the thunder was eventually dying off.**

 **"** **How are you feeling now?" Bruce asked casually.**

 **Natasha replied without hesitation, "A lot better… Thank you for helping me through this. It really means a lot"**

 **"** **Aye. You helped me through my fear and now I'm helping you through yours, right?", Bruce made a statement about the lullaby and her taming him.**

 **"** **Right", Natasha agreed.**

 **They stared at one another in silence again, taking in the details upon their features.**

 **Natasha didn't think twice of curling up into Bruce's chest and attempted to fall asleep. He lay there with a protective arm around her and the other was stroking her hair.**

 **-End of Flashback-**

This was one of these times that Natasha had longed for Bruce's comfort and right now she would do anything to get it. Every time she closed her eyes, his face appeared with that cute smile upon his features. She knew that the only way to tackle this was to handle it herself in her own way. Natasha thought of what made her happy but the thought of Bruce kept popping into her head. So she focused on him and his features for the time being, until she fell asleep. And it eventually worked. It made her kind of sad that he wasn't there to help her through this anymore, which made her disappointed in herself.


	6. Project B

**Chapter 6**

 **Project B**

 ** _And I don't think twice_**

 ** _When someone says your name_**

 ** _Or twist my mind in circles_**

 ** _Wondering which of us to blame_**

Natasha

Tony's team was on a jet to Leipzig Airport in Germany where Cap's team was hiding out. The argument between Tony and Steve had gotten way out of hand. It was like no one seemed to know where their loyalties lied anymore.

Peter Parker was aboard the jet, being too enthusiastic for his own good. But as much too Natasha's annoyance.

"This is so cool, Mr Stark. Oh my god.", Peter bounced around the aircraft.

But he was getting on Tony's last nerves as well as Natasha's, "Okay kid. Why don't we sit down for a little bit?"

Peter sat in between Natasha and Tony near to the back of the plane. They sat in silence for at least 5 minutes until Peter brought up a touchy subject to both adults next to him.

"Hey, didn't you work with that smart guy? The big green monst-", Peter was cut off instantly by Natasha.

"He's not a monster.", Natasha said coldly.

She knew where his mind was heading and that just proved to her that everyone else saw him and his inner demon are connected as one, when they are totally different people.

The public viewed him as this big green monster that destroys things for the fun of it. If only they knew how much it hurt him and destroyed him as a human being to become this thing he dreaded.

"I know, I was just thinking that-", Peter got cut off again.

"And you thinking he is one, is arrogantly insulting." Natasha carried one before he could make another assumption.

Tony was touched at how much Natasha still cared for Bruce, with how things turned out between the two. Maybe due to his break up with Pepper he knew how hurt the both of them felt. It was hard not having the thing you need the most and Tony understood this perfectly.

Peter sat there in silence, it was like he was being told off in school by one of his teachers.

"Can i talk to you over here for a minute?" Tony asked Natasha politely. Natasha continued to sit in her seat, looking up at Stark with a stern expression and her arms folded across her chest. She wasn't being told what to do by anyone.

"Please." The duo stared at each other intently for some time, until Natasha rose up from her seat and walked across the jet in a huff.

"Don't take it out on him Nat. He's just a kid" Tony started to explain.

Natasha wasn't having any of it.

"Yeah. A kid that knows nothing about him.", Natasha stated.

"There are thousands of people in the world that don't know him, would you like to bite their heads off too?" Tony mentioned.

Tony sat down next to his teammate and continued his speech. "I know that your still upset about him leaving, but you gotta stop blaming yourself about it."

"You don't know what happened between us, so you have no right to assume that you do.", Natasha was about to get up but Tony held her back by her upper arm.

"Your right I don't. But I know that he cares about you deeply and that if I hadn't pushed and pushed him into creating Ultron none of this would have ever happened. He wouldn't feel the need to run away like he did. He also ran away to protect the one person he loves the most. and that's you."

Natasha sat there thinking about what Tony said and smiled back at him. "You're right Tony, why didn't I think about that before. And while we're on the subject of you and him, did it not occur to you that once you knew where he was hiding out that you'd inform me before trying to be the good cop."

 **-Thoughts-**

 **Where in hell did Tony have the right to know and state exactly how I feel. He didn't. He just stuck his nose in as per usual, thinking he knows best about everything when he didn't. Natasha knew the real reason why the son of a bitch left and nobody was going to tell her different.**

 **Yeah maybe he was in contact with Bruce and knew about his location, but that didn't stop her from assuming that she was being left in the dark about the whole thing for a reason.**

 **-End of Thoughts-**

The redhead pulled her arm out of Tony's grasped and moved away without another word.

She knew where Tony's loyalties lied and it would always be with him.

Bruce

Bruce slept until noon, Saturdays was the only day he had to himself. Mainly to catch up on the world around him, and reply to emails he received thought out the week.

He knew about the events with The Winter soldier, but the last information he had on it was the bombing in Vienna caused by this guy.

Tony updated him weekly about everything happening with the avengers and especially Natasha, through emails and texts.

Tony: Hey Bud, I may as well start off with the bad news but Natasha knows about us being in contact. She wasn't happy about it and I don't think she will ever be able to shake off the double agent thing due to her losing me this fight with Cap. I can't really blame her, whereas it's easier to shift the blame. She's a mess at the moment, she's getting distracted at the wrong times and I don't know how to help her anymore. You told me to keep an eye on her and I've done the best I can. She's very easily slipping through my fingers and i have no idea how to handle it anymore. She needs you lot more than you think...

Hope your well and the India food isn't that spicy ;) Please get in contact soon, Miss you Buddy.

Your main man, Tony XD.

Bruce: I appreciate you watching out for her just for my benefit, give her some time. I guess she's still hurting about everything that happened. Also trying to process this 'Spat' between you and Steve. I can see how her loyalties would be all over the place at the moment. You asked if everything was fine, but to be truthful it's not. I've been thinking and I want to carry out Project B. It just seems like the right time and i have been putting it off for too long to continue my life as normal. I've been wanting to say something for a few months but just didn't know how to tell you. I'm ready for this Tony and know that you would agree...

All my best, Bruce.

Tony: I think Project B is great! I'm glad you've finally come to your senses. I'm here for you, with whatever you do. When do you want to carry this out? Because I can come straight away, just say the word and I'll be there.

Bruce: No, I want to do this on my own. I will be in contact soon I promise.

Tony: Okay Bud, be careful. I'll send you her location shortly. Good Luck.

 **-Thoughts-**

 **Was this the right thing to do? Am I ready for this? It's only been a year and I'm still unsure if I can handle it. It was too daunting but it's got to be done. I will completely lose my mind and hate myself as much as I already do if I don't.**

 **Tony's been right for ages, I shouldn't have left in the first place but hopefully this will make up for everything that I've put people through.**

 **-End of Thoughts-**

Bruce signed off his computer and put it to the side. He rubbed his hands over his face, taking in his final decision. It was time to pack a bag.


	7. Scheduled Arrival

**Chapter 7**

 **Scheduled Arrival**

 ** _I never walk alone and think of all the empty words_**

 ** _Or wonder when the day will break, or when the tides will turn_**

Natasha

After the Civil war with Tony and Steve, Natasha was forced into exile. She doesn't quite leave the country but stayed local and out of harm's way. She knew that the avengers, or whatever was left of them would need her back soon enough. So Natasha wasn't going to run away and hide, when she stood by her decisions and chooses in life.

She found a little flat and bar job on the outskirts of Upstate New York, Where Clint was driving her to at this moment in time.

Once Steve had freed Clint from the Raft, he instantly went to The Avengers Facility to make things up to Natasha, whom he found packing her things up in a hurry.

He offered her a lift to wherever she needed to go and that's what led them to this moment. She threw her duffle bag in the bag seat and off they went.

"You don't have much things.", Clint stated.

Natasha stared out of the window not wanting to have a conversation right now, "You know me. I travel light."

"Where are you heading?", Clint Asked.

"On the outskirts of Upstate New York. I got a lovely one-bedroom apartment with my name on the lease.", Natasha joked.

Clint focused on Natasha as well as the road in front of him, "I don't think you'll enjoy retirement as much as I do."

"I'm not retiring. Just taking a break.", Natasha instantly corrected her friend.

Clint was confused by her acknowledgement, "Running away?"

Hawkeye give Nat a certain look.

"I'm not like him in that way." Natasha mentioned Bruce as little as she could.

Clint knew Bruce was a touchy subject around Nat since he left.

"Natasha, just be careful. You know I'm only a call away, if you need anything.", Clint halted the car to the destination.

"Me too", Natasha grabbed her bag and hugged Clint, before exiting the vehicle.

Once she entered the block of apartments safely, Clint drove off.

 **-Flashback-**

 **"** **So we runaway. What then?" Bruce asked Natasha, as the couple was back in Clint's farm house talking about running away in the bedroom.**

 **"** **We carry on running and we don't stop", Natasha stated eager to carry out this plan.**

 **"** **I've been on the run before Natasha, it isn't fun.", Bruce was trying to tell her that it won't be an easy journey.**

 **"** **And I haven't? Don't you think I know this.", Natasha was getting defensive.**

 **Bruce didn't want to start stepping on people's toes, especially hers and so he tried to stay quiet.**

 **"** **Ah well, ermm I better go clean up", Natasha stated distracting herself from Bruce and walked away to grab her towel, before heading for the bathroom.**

 **"** **The waters cold"**

 **"** **No Shit", Before Natasha could say another word, the spy slammed the door behind her and left Bruce to his own thoughts.**

 **-End of Flashback-**

Natasha opened her door to her small apartment, dropping her bag to the floor and taking in her new life as a free woman. This is the start of something new, the beginning of something she had never experienced before. Being free and not at someone's beckon call all of the time.

Bruce

Bruce stirred his cappuccino, as he was quietly sat in the corner of a Starbucks café, reading the latest American newspaper.

Due to his surroundings, Bruce felt a bit out of place in his purple shirt and scruffy brown pants. He wasn't the richest, but wasn't the poorest either. The doctor did he best to clean up in a limited amount of time.

He sat in the darkened corner, watching different types of people and families arrive and depart the building. He's loneliness brought up some memories again, this time a certain flashback that he held close in his heart.

 **-Flashback-**

 **Bruce walked over to the bar, where Natasha was making herself a cocktail.**

 **"** **What's a nice girl like you, wind up working in a dump like this?", Bruce took his glasses off and sat down at the bar.**

 **Natasha seemed to go with the flow, "Fella done me wrong"**

 **"** **You got lousy taste in men kid"**

 **"** **Well, he's not so bad. He has a temper… but deep down he's all fluff"**

 **Bruce looked at her wanting her to continue talking. Was she really telling him the truth of how she felt.**

 **"** **That fact is he's not like anyone I've ever known. All my friends are fighters… and then here comes this guy, spends his life avoiding the fight because he knows he'll win."**

 **"** **Sound's amazing." Bruce forced out in a joke.**

 **"** **He's also a huge Dork. Chicks dig that." Bruce laughed at her statement, letting her carry on.**

 **"** **So what do you think I should do? Should I fight this? Or run with it?", Natasha finished waiting for his answer.**

 **"** **Run with it right, or what did he do that was so wrong to you? Bruce eagerly asked.**

 **"** **Not a damn thing. But never say never.", and with that Natasha disappear out of sight and out of mind**

 **-End of Flashback-**

It was the first time Natasha ever admit she had feelings for someone, Ture feelings in fact. Not just Happiness or Enjoyment, But love. And that meant a lot to him.

The airport made an announcement that caught Bruce's attention.

"Last Call for the flight to New York City"

Bruce grabbed his brown duffle bag and headed for his departing flight. With no regrets.


	8. Lost but Found

**Chapter 8**

 **Lost but Found**

 ** _And I don't break down when someone says your name_**

 ** _Or twist my mind in circles wondering which of us to blame_**

After Bruce's 15-hour flight from New Delhi, he finally arrived at JFK Airport. He always hated flying but somehow he eventually talked himself through it. Throughout his head all's that was on his mind was that within a second, every person on this plane couldn't be died and Bruce Banner wouldn't know a thing about it.

He was doing all this for her, somehow he didn't think she'd appreciate it as much as he did. Risking his and several other innocent lives, just to see her again. He just thought to himself 'Was it worth it?'

He flagged a yellow New York taxi and took him where he needed to go.

Bruce was transfixed by the passing lights and skyscrapers that motioned beside him. He missed this city so much, it was always the life of the party, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. He spent most of his time touring it with Natasha and enjoying the moments they had together at certain places of the city.

The taxi stopped outside a shabby looking bar on the outskirts of Upstate New York. Bruce got out and paid the driver, he waited for the vehicle to leave before he got his bearings of where he was.

The doctor unfolded the crumpled piece of paper that had a specific address, he had written down from Tony's email. A confused look appeared on his face, wondering if Tony had got it right.

This place looks dark and dangerous, why on earth would he send him here. But he knew he shouldn't question his friend's motives until he found some answers.

Bruce passed a couple of smokers as he entered through the front door, they gave him a look bully's used to give him in high school. Bruce was immediately intimated by his surroundings once he entered a room full of drunk middle aged men that where much bigger than him. The physicist saw a flash of red from across the room, wiping down the bar top, she disappeared instantly. He did he best to keep his head down and walk to the bar unnoticed but a few males, bumped into his small figure whilst he pasted them.

He took a deep breath and sat down at the bar, placing his duffel bag on the bar top.

"Aye Buddy! Do you mind, I just cleane-", The bar maid rose up from underneath the bar and turned to face a familiar face. Natasha stood there in silence, taking in the figure in her mind to process if this was really happening.

"What's a nice girl like you, wind up working in a dump like this?", Bruce looked up at with a smile on his face, hoping she would return the gesture. Natasha was too speechless, all's she wanted to do was to punch him in the face and another part of her wanted to kiss him. Bruce reached for her hand that lay absent on the bar but she pulled it away, continuing their re-enactment.

Natasha picked up the dirty rag and continued to wipe down the wooden surface beyond her, "Fella done me wrong"

"You definitely have a lousy taste in men kid", Bruce lighten up more once he knew he was safe to continue.

"You know; he isn't so bad. He has a temper… but deep down I know he's all fluff", Natasha smirked, knowing where this was heading.

Bruce watched her elegantly, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He waited patiently for her to carry on.

"That fact is he's not like anyone I've ever known. All my friends are fighters… and then here comes this guy, spends his life avoiding the fight because he knows he'll win.", Natasha finally connected her eyes to his.

"He sound's amazing." Bruce forced out in a joke, staring back at the woman.

"He's also a huge Dork. Chicks dig that." Bruce laughed at her statement, he loved her sarcastic stubborn ways.

"So what do you think I should do? Should I fight this? Or run with it?", Natasha finished, waiting for his answer, leaning on to the bar to get a closer look of him with a smirk upon her face.

"Run with it right? Or what did he do that was so wrong to you? Bruce eagerly asked, knowing what she was going to say next, but was wrong.

"He left me here, and ran away without me. We were gunna live our life's the way we wanted too. Without any hiding and any worries. He gave up on us before we could get a chance to experience what it even was...", Natasha leaned away from the bar, with a lump in her throat that she swallowed without a second thought.

Bruce looked down in disappointment, exhaling out hastily. He had a good feeling this wasn't going to end well, but he could only hope.

"Natasha-", Bruce sadly looked back up at her.

"And now here he is, showing up out of nowhere and acting like everything is normal.", Natasha's voice began to shake, with a glimpse of tears in her eyes.

Bruce didn't find the words to tell her how he's really feeling, not just yet and so he just sat there in silence, taking his medicine like a coward.

"What are you doing here?", Natasha asked with her arms folded and a look that could kill a thousand men in a heartbeat.

"Isn't it obvious?", Bruce asked honestly, with no more pretending.

Natasha ignored him and commenced gathering the dirty beer glasses off the bar.

"Natasha?", Bruce addressed her seriously, but she was having none of it.

Natasha didn't want to listen to him anymore. She grabbed a plastic glass holder and came out from behind the bar. The only thing that was separating them.

"Will you stop for a second and listen to me?! Please?", Bruce grabbed her upper arms and blocked her way.

Natasha gave him a vary look. He needed to keep his cool and fast, before the other guy made an appearance.

"I am working at the moment if you don't like it, then you know where the door is. If you do... then I get off at 12. Until then, take this and sit over there." Natasha handed him an open beer bottle and pointed to an empty table at the side of the room.

Bruce accepted it without another word. He didn't want to get on Natasha's bad side. That was the last thing he wanted to do.


	9. Its Just The Beginning

**Chapter 9**

 **It's Just The Beginning**

 ** _I'm living alone, living alone_**

 ** _I don't need you anymore_**

 ** _Living alone living alone_**

 ** _I don't need you anymore_**

It was around 11:30pm and the bar was empty, in the background calm music played whilst Natasha mopped the floor and cleaned the place.

Natasha walked over to Bruce who was now asleep, leaning on his hand to keep his head up right. His mouth was open ajar with a small snore escaping his complexion.

She stood watching him sleep. A little smile appeared across her face, she found him rather cute at times, maybe she couldn't stay mad at him forever.

The woman shook his shoulder, waking the sleeping doctor from his brief doze.

"Come on Doctor. It's time to go.", Natasha stood in front of him in her leather jacket, instead of her work clothes. All geared up to go home.

Bruce rubbed his eyes and gathered his things up, before following her out of the door.

"Long trip?", Natasha asked as the couple walked down the deserted street. Side by side.

"If you call 15 hours long, then yeah.", Bruce told her.

He looked over at Natasha and saw clogs ticking in her head, until she finally asked. "India?"

Bruce nodded, "Yep"

"I figured."

The duo walked in silence down several streets, as they were struggling to bring the topic up.

"Did you ever coming looking for me?", Bruce asked, he wanted to know if she had put herself through all of that.

"I tried for the first two months, but then I gave up. I knew you wanted space, and somehow I needed closure that you were really gone.", Natasha told him what he wanted to hear, the truth.

Bruce listened and took in every word.

"I'm sorry. I put you through it all.", Bruce blurted out, he needed Natasha to know.

"Well, things happen. I wouldn't stress about it.", The spy was still trying to put a brave face on, in front of the guy that hurt her.

"Tasha", Bruce grabbed her hand to stop her from walking.

Natasha didn't hesitate and stopped.

They were now facing each other alone in a deserted street, holding hands.

"Don't blame yourself for any of this, it was my decision.", Bruce looked deep into her eyes.

"No. It was our decision; we were 'both' planning to run. Remember?", Natasha snatched her hand anyway from Bruce's and walked away.

Bruce ran after her, up the street. Natasha walked up the steps to her apartment and opened the front door. She entered her living area, with the doctor not so far behind. Once the door was shut and they were completely alone, Bruce continued his explanation.

"You have to trust me when I say that I left to protect you"

"You know Bruce. It's kind of hard to trust someone when you don't know who that someone really is.", Natasha took her jacket off and stood staring at the male flustered. She knew she had hit a nerve but it was the best thing for it.

"What are you saying?", he distraughtly asked.

"I'm saying that, I thought we was in it together. Stupidity enough I thought I could trust you. I wanted to run away with you, but you didn't give me the option. I have been manipulated and brainwashed my whole life. Never given the chance to think for myself. But you already knew this because you are the only one out of the few people I trusted that I told. Now for me… that's a lot, and you betrayed me. Now you're here and I don't think I can handle it. A year. A year you've been missing and had me going out of my mind with worry and concern hoping that you were still alive.", Natasha finished her rant, with tears flowing down her cheeks freely, somehow she felt like a weight as been lifted from her chest. Another made her feel weak, that she was openly crying in front of this man.

Bruce was standing on the other side of the room, hiding his tears away from the woman he loves. He hurt her and all's he wanted to do was to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright.

"I'm still in love with you... And I don't think anything will ever change that, no matter how hard I try.", Natasha finally said it. Out loud and in front of him.

Bruce's attention was fully on the only woman in the room. Did she really just say that?

Natasha wiped her tears and shook her emotions away. She walked passed Banner and opened the door for him to leave.

"Is this what you want?", Bruce was face to face with Natasha at this moment.

She didn't say a word but looked down slightly to avoid eye contact. Bruce moved closer to the woman closing the distance between the two. Natasha looked up and their lips were inches apart, they could feel the warmth of each other's bodies.

Bruce rose his hand to Natasha's face and gently rubbed her tears away using his thumb. Natasha stayed completely still, until Bruce's hand moved towards the back of her neck and he pulled her in for a kiss. Natasha at first was stunned but gradually warmed up to the idea. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him in closer. Their bodies pressed against the now closed door. Bruce lifted Natasha up to his waist still kissing her deeply and she wrapped her legs around him.

The doctor walked across the flat, carrying her steadily. Once they entered the bedroom, he lay Natasha down on the bed and broke off the kiss, catching his breathe. His pulse was becoming too rapid and had to calm down. Bruce removed himself from towering Natasha and sat on the edge of her bed, with his head buried in his hands.

"Bruce it's okay. Just take a moment and breath. We don't need to rush this.", Natasha knelt next to him on the bed.

"But I need to make all this up to you, I need to show you how much I care… so I don't lose you again.", Bruce began to sob in his hands, away from Natasha's perspective. But she needed to see him.

Natasha forced Bruce to look up at her. She wiped his tears away and pressed her forehead to his. They stayed like this for a few minutes until his pulse beat steady again.

"You will never lose me."

Natasha gave Bruce a slow and firm kiss on the lips, liking the way they connected, causing butterflies in her stomach.

Over time the couple accepted their flaws towards one another and never wanted to look back. They ended up lying half naked in bed, with their limbs entangled and his tanned skin touching hers.

Natasha's head was fixed upon Bruce's hairy chest, whilst he stroked her fiery locks. Neither of them wanted to talk. They just wanted to take the moment in and believe that this wasn't an illusion… or a memory in their heads.

Author's Notes: Okay, I know I'm bad at endings but oh well. I'm thinking of writing an epilogue to this story but I'm making no promises. If you do want to see an Epilogue, what would you like to happen? Thank you again for all you readers and especially all the reviews that I got from making this story.


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